Jealousy (= self-pity + love)
The self-pity mode of jealousy denigrates my achievements as an individual since it prefers to seek recognition and approval from other people ; social (or group) conformity is the norm. Only social achievements are valued. I have to rely on others ; if I have no support then I experience loneliness. Therefore this mode creates a dependency situation for me, so social ties are cemented by concepts of obligation and duty (in other words, concepts of obligation and duty are ways of handling this type of self-pity).
Types of Emotion
This mode of self-pity generates the need to be touched or to touch (in order to evoke a response from the other person) ; ultimately, this kind of touch becomes the need for sexual intercourse. This mode also makes one homely: I may feel like baking a cake (when it has a social nuance, such as having tea with the neighbours), or I may feel like redecorating the rooms in the house where I invite friends.
The love mode of jealousy produces social involvement and a sense of caring. It encompasses all ways of making other people dependent on oneself. It leads to paternalism in social relations, and to ‘enlightened despotism’ in politics, and to the crusading drive of evangelists. It generates sexual love, but not to the desire for sexual intercourse ; however, sexual intercourse may be engaged in as a way of fulfilling the needs of a partner. Touch is only used as a means of consolation.
Copyright © 2002 Ian Heath All Rights Reserved
